A Conversation Between English & Maths


It’s a very strange thought, but I feel that Maths and English are like bitter foes. What if Maths and English were not subjects but humans?

Let’s assume that English and Maths are not subjects, but human. So let’s imagine what will be the conversation between them.

English: Hi, Maths, how are you?

Maths: Wait for it; it is not yet the right time for me to talk with you right now.

English: But you just did talk to me, eventually.

Maths: No, that was the right time to shut you up; ok so now you can talk.

English: Hmm…How are you Math?

Maths: Well…my blood pressure is a systolic pressure of fewer than 120 millimeters of mercury and diastolic pressure of less than 80 mm Hg, then my body temperature is 34-degree celsius, my blood cholesterol 200 mg/dL and blood sugar level is between 70 and 99 mg/dL and my –

English: Ok I get it, you are fine…in our language we call it, “I am fine”

Math:  No, I am not fine…I am having high level of Dehydration

English: It means you are not fine.

Math: No, it means I need a glass of water; daa

English: Oh my God, Maths, why do you have to be so specific about everything?

Maths: Way do you have to be so metaphoric about everything? Alas! You and ways…English you are a person who finds meaning in meaningless things. Let me illustrate the object of my objection; what is poetry, it is just a set of enigmatic word combined to propound a single idea.

English: Wow…I find meaning in your word, they were so poetic.

Maths: That is called criticism in my friend.

English: Well, then maths…I find it really vexing my friend that in your algebra all we have to do is find the “X”. I don’t bloody get it; what is this obsession with “X”. Are you a pirate? Why do you always find “X”?

Maths: Sometimes I also find “Y”

English: It means you don’t know why to you find “X”

Maths: It means that I also find “Y”

English: You seriously don’t know “Y” do you find “X”

Maths: English…SHUT UP.

English: “Y”

Maths: Alas! You and ways…English, your existence has no benefit to anyone

English: Really! Then why do you state all your problems in English?

Math: Ah…Ah…because –

English: Why don’t you say all your problems in binary language?

Math: Hmm…ah…well –

English: Why do you even speak English?

Maths: Well I don’t know the person, who is writing this blog is making me say this entire thing. Ah…but I guess I must apologize for my rudeness. I must comprehend the importance of everything. Yep…now this person is making me the one with guilt.

English: Maybe I should do the same…and even I confess that Math is also very important and it…well it gives a lot of specificities to our life.

Maths: So, English, how are you?

English: Oh last night I had to visit the doctor…my grammar is not very good these days so I took some punctuation, some tenses and also improved my vocabulary so I am getting better. So how is your son; what is his name?

Maths: Physics is fine…he had a son recently we named him astrophysics.

English: Wow…Maths what is your age?

Maths: I am 4016-year-old, maybe even more. I think I don’t know.

English: It seems that your maths is not very good.

Maths: Haha

English: By the way, I am 1516 years old.

Maths: Well, it was nice meeting you English.

English: It was nice meeting you too Maths.